I never put much thought into what it would be like to lose a child. I am a married, working, very ambitious mother of three children who are all school age. I've always had to balance my career with my family life. Due to this type of life, my children haven't always had me around. I try to be there as much as I can but sometimes it just isn't enough. Recently I came to realization that the old saying was true: "life passes you by when you're busy making other plans".
The day Antonio Santiago and his mother, Sherry West, were attacked made me realize that my life and the lives of my family members could be snuffed out at any moment. After all I am a neighbor of the family that was attacked, the attack happened on my street. It's a harsh reality when it dawns on you, that you cannot keep anyone safe. Life that is so precious can be stolen in a mere moment.
Since this tragedy hit so close to home, I felt that it was only right that I attend a prayer vigil. My mother and I walked down with a candle to light for the memorial. When we arrived we were a little late, the prayer had already started. As my mother and I walked past the police standing guard then into the crowd, I recognized Luis Santiago praying beside the mayor. I bowed my head and began praying, as I did; reality hit me hard. This was an innocent baby, so full of life. What a heinous act of pure evil, yet even though this was a horrible act; we still came together in prayer. Hearing about a murder is one thing, experiencing the horror for yourself is entirely different.
As the prayer ended we stood around, some talking amongst themselves. Others were just numb, tears rolling down their faces. My mother and I were crying, it was impossible to hold back the emotion. Luis walked up to the memorial, then leaned down to adjust some of the stuffed animals left there. I fumbled for a lighter to light the candle as my mother went to comfort Luis. Luis stood up then turned around towards my mother. I lit the candle then laid it on the ground beside the others.
My mother grasped Luis' forearm and said "I'm sorry". Her voice cracked due to the emotion. "I'm sorry for your loss", She repeated. Luis and my mother leaned in and embraced each other. I stood there just in a daze. I muttered "I am so sorry". I was really at a loss of words, what could anyone say to comfort someone that just lost their child due to such callous violence. A little girl walked up to us, her father standing behind her. Luis looked down at her, his face wet from tears; he tried to crack a smile. He patted her head then looked to us and said, "Watch your children, Satan is here and he is out to destroy." Those words struck me. I knew he was right.
Anyone that would shoot an innocent baby in the face is cold and empty. I believe people like De'Marquise Elkins are easily tempted. Raised in hostile environments that don't teach the value of life, how to care for others, how to love and even love yourself. When you are shown no love, how can you love anyone else? I truly believe that De'Marquise is a product of an abusive home life. A life where your mother is a felon by the time you're a preteen. When you are taught to steal and cheat as a source of income, instead of being taught the value of hard work. De'Marquise wasn't taught right from wrong, he was taught to take what you can when you can, no matter who you hurt in the process. So that's what he did.
Even amongst evil, I still see the good. I saw a father who forgave the children who murdered his baby. Such an amazing gift is forgiveness, not just for the person being forgiven; also for the person forgiving. Letting it go and giving it God is all you can do sometimes. Somethings are just too big for us to handle. I felt the Lord beside us that evening, before a little toy guitar, a stuffed bear and trinkets sparkling from the candlelight. A lady began to sing amazing grace, some joined her while others hummed along. Standing there in shock to see what could have easily happened to my family. A heartbreak that I won't soon recover from. A reminder to never be too comfortable and always take time for my children. You really never know when your time is up.
Our tears will dry, our hearts will heal... but we will never forget. Rest in peace Antonio. May the Lord bless you and keep you safe always in his loving arms... Today I sat down with my little girls and colored a picture. We laughed and played, it was something I had missed but didn't realize I was missing. Nothing is more important than your children, remember to take time for them always.
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